Meanwhile… I'm Still Thinking

Going to the dentist isn’t anybody’s idea of a good time, we can all agree on that.

My dentist growing up was a very old (at least he seemed so at the time), very overweight man who had this terrible habit of sucking air through his teeth when he breathed. It would be “sctshhhhhhhhhh Ok spit sctshhhhhhhhh…” and then there would be more of the high-pitched whine of whatever he was using to clean my teeth with.

Due to a high fever as a young child (which nearly killed me) I had the misfortune of having 4 molars show up with no enamel on them – better than being dead, but those teeth needed to be gotten rid of.

The next trip to the dentist was not going to be about cleaning, wheezing and a wintergreen rinse. It was my biggest nightmare come to life – a needle as long as my arm, an “extraction tool” that looked like something my dad used on his car, at least one slap (“sctshhhhhhhhhh Settle down! sctshhhhhhhhh…”) and lots (and lots) of blood. I’m sure that my screaming was heard in the next town, especially since the local radio station was on the same floor and my session was happening during the 12:00 news.

Because of my antics only 2 of the 4 teeth were pulled, and I would need to return the following week for more of the same.

My parents were told that if I acted the way I did the first time I’d need to be tied down, so they offered me the only bribe that they knew would work: they said that if I behaved like a grown-up the next time they would take me to the record store and buy me any single that I wanted AND get me a milkshake at the A&W Root Beer Stand.

The following week I went, I sat, I whimpered, but there were no screams and no non-parental violence. It was a huge success, and my parents kept up their end of the bargain. We went straight from the dentist to Al Dufrane’s Auto Parts and Record Store and spent 89 cents on what is still one of my all-time favorite songs: “Nobody I Know” by Peter and Gordon.

To this day, whenever I hear the song it reminds me of the first time I went to my “Happy Place” with a melody in tow, and (of course) chocolate milkshakes.